Next step...

Oh Lord be gracious to me,

I long for you.

Be my strength every morning.

My salvation in time of distress.

Isaiah 33:2

(I changed a few words.)

I don't know how it is possible, but this morning I am actually awake and going before the girls.  I have had a rough few weeks.  It seems like I can't get over one cold or infection before I get hit with another.  Add morning sickness from 3-6 p.m. and the exhaustion that comes from being pregnant to top it off.  I confess I have not always been the sweet, loving wife and mommy that my family knows (hope they would describe me that way.)

So, I have been crying out to God asking Him what I am supposed to be learning from this.  Those of you that know me well know I am a doer and laying around for long does not work well for me.  I have too many things to do.  What about my list? 

All this and my head is spinning with how I will be able to handle the responsibility of another child when I can't keep up with what I need to do now.  I know, I know...who is feeding me those thoughts..not the lover of my soul.  I recognize it is the one who seeks to destroy me.  In my overwhelm I have stopped, been at a standstill for the past few days.  I can say, I am empty, drained.  I am in need of a long drink of life from my Savior. 

And that is what I think God is STILL trying to teach me.  How many years times will I walk around this mountain.  Apart from Him, I can't do it.  (Now, didn't I do a post like this not long ago?  Sorry, I am slow like this at times.)

So my prayer for today, just for today, is that God would give me the grace to put one foot in front of the other and take steps where HE leads me.  I read in some book about asking God to  help you with the next step during the course of your day.  Not to worry about the entire day, but continually to ask Him what your next step should be.  At this point in my life that gives me great comfort.  I know it probably sounds way to simple to most of you, but that is where I am right now.

For a planner like me, that is progress.

Doug has been a rock through all this!  I am blessed to have a husband like him.  Thank you, Lord!  Last night He prayed that I would begin to get my strength back and this morning I feel a glimmer of hope that it is returning. 

Now, I'm off to my next step....